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Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Nigeria Scam Funny
Yesterday I was talking to a "female" that claimed to be working in Nigeria and needed money for a plane ticket home to Los Angeles. I seem to get this from someone new every month, and they are always in Nigeria. So I decided to mess with them a little.
The following is our conversation, verbatim. I have not altered anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
hi
Kathleen Hill:
i am not happy
Me:
y?
Kathleen Hill:
because i need some money to return back to the state
Me:
what r u going to do?
Kathleen Hill:
dont know
i am done with my project here
and i need some money to balance up my ticket fee
Me:
y didnt you buy a round trip ticket when u first went out there?
Kathleen Hill:
didnt know
Me:
didnt know what?
Kathleen Hill:
didnt know i will be in this mess
Me:
i dont understand, u didnt know that you would need to fly back to the states? what were going to do? swim?
Kathleen Hill:
what i mean is i didnt know i will be in this mess #
or i would have gotten a return ticket
Me:
can u ask the people there for some money?
Kathleen Hill:
i have tried but only the hotel manager gave me some
Me:
how much?
Kathleen Hill:
i need $1,800
and he gave me $1,000
now i need $800
Me:
wow he gave you $1,000? what did u have to do to get $1,000?
Kathleen Hill:
nothing
i showed him my check and explained everything to him
Me:
is there another hotel across the street? maybe you can get the hotel owner there to give you the other $800?
Kathleen Hill:
what do you mean
Me:
I'm sure there is more than one hotel in Nigeria. u got $1,000 from one guy. Maybe the other guy can give you $800 and then you'll be all set.
Kathleen Hill:
bye
dont talk to me again
Me:
why not?
im just trying to help
Kathleen Hill is Available
Me:
how come u havent asked me to give u money?
Kathleen Hill is Available
Kathleen Hill:
are you there
Me:
yeah
Kathleen Hill:
i didnt ask you for money because i dont want you to think bad of mee
Me:
u told me not to talk to u aggain
Kathleen Hill:
are you turning me to be a berger
Me:
i dont know what a berger is, so how could i be turning you into one?
Kathleen Hill:
can you help me
Me:
well i can't give you 800, i could probably do like 200
Kathleen Hill:
can you please make it $400
Me:
i dont have that much
Kathleen Hill:
$300?
Me:
i dont have that much either
Maybe if I get a second job...
Kathleen Hill:
ok will you be able to send the $200 today
Me:
no the bank closes in 15 minutes
why dont you give me your bank account number and i will deposit it for you in the morning?
Kathleen Hill:
the best way to senf it is using western union
Me:
what is that?
Kathleen Hill:
western union money transfer
it is the best way to send money world wide
Me:
is western union a bank?
Kathleen Hill:
it is a money transfer ...
go to www.westernunion.com
are you there
Me:
yeah, so what is your western union account number?
Kathleen Hill:
you dont need an account
Me:
how do i get you the money?
Kathleen Hill:
what you need is my address to send money on
Me:
address? ok whats your address? how does that work?
Kathleen Hill:
all you need to do is go to any western union outlet around you and tell them you want to send money
Me:
oh hey, i just remembered, i have frequent flyer miles. that could help you get a cheaper ticket. what airline are you using?
Kathleen Hill:
klm
listen handsome
i have paid some money for the ticket already
what i need now is to balance up and i hop in the plane
so i do not need any help from frequent flyer
are you there
Me:
yeah, i stepped away, i'm making dinner
wazup
Kathleen Hill:
can you go send the money now
Me:
my bank closes at 5, so it just closed 9 minutes ago
i will have to go in the morning
so what is your address?
i can't address the letter to "nigeria, africa"
Kathleen Hill:
you send it to the hotel manager
Name: David Clark Address: 112 hotel road City: ijaye State: lagos Zipcode: 23401 Country: Nigeria
Me:
how do I know this David guy will give it to you? can't I address it to Kathleen Hill?
what room number are you?
Kathleen Hill:
he is the hotel manager and he will give it to me
he owns the hotel i am staying in here
Me:
i don't trust him
Kathleen Hill:
ok
Me:
how do we cut out the middle man?
Kathleen Hill:
then you send it to my name
same address
Kathleen Hill
Me:
what am i sending? a check? i'm a little confused?
do i make the check out to kathleen hill?
Kathleen Hill:
no
what time is it there
Me:
5:14
what time is it there?
Kathleen Hill:
western union closes at 10pm
you can still go send the money now
what is your zipcode so i can find a western union nearer location for you
Me:
i can look it up here but im about to eat dinner and then go to work, so i dont think i will make it tonight
but dont i need to get money from my bank, how does western union know where to take the money from?
Kathleen Hill:
all you need to do is take the money to their location and provide them with my address that you want to send money
you will be given a form to fill and once the money is sent
you will be given a receipt
it is on the receipt you will find a 10 digit number which is called the Money Transfer Control Number
Me:
can i track it from there?
how do i know when you get it?
Kathleen Hill:
once you send it
you will need to email me the 10 digit number
you will also be asked for a secret question and answer
Me:
so what should my secret question and answer be?
Kathleen Hill:
who is my love
answer is kathleen
Me:
oh i like that
do u need a secret question and answer too?
what can yours be?
Kathleen Hill:
yes
no i dont need secret question
Me:
thats no fun
how soon do you get it after i send it?
Kathleen Hill:
immediately you send it and email me the info
Me:
can i have your number? i'll call you when i go there so you can make sure i'm doing it right over the phone.
Kathleen Hill:
i dont have a phone here
Me:
oh darn
i cant do email on my phone either, so i wont know until i get home if you got it
Kathleen Hill:
what time do you get home
Me:
oh shoot, i gotta eat and head out, i will be out all night, till like 11 or 12
Kathleen Hill:
cant you just send it and rush home to email me the info
Me:
no cant i gotta eat and head to work at 6
so when are we gonna get together for coffee?
Kathleen Hill:
if you send money tomorow i will be in state on wednesday
Me:
wow, that is quick
where do u want to meet?
Kathleen Hill:
where would you like
Me:
Hooters
Kathleen Hill:
that will be nice
Me:
what r u going to wear?
Kathleen Hill:
surprise for you
remember i am a fashion designer
Me:
cool
how about something with feathers?
Kathleen Hill:
watch out
Me:
no tallons please
oh hey, what is the number at the hotel? i'll all the hotel and ask for your room.
*call
that way i can tell you if there is a problem
Kathleen Hill:
0112348022121925
Me:
wow thats a lot of numbers
what is your room number? i'll call right now
Kathleen Hill:
room 34
are you there
Me:
brb
Kathleen Hill:
ok
Me:
i gotta go, i'm gonna be late
ill call you tomorrow
Kathleen Hill:
ok
what time will you send money tomorow
Me:
not sure, morning?
ttyl
------------------------------------------------------
Today I called the number and some guy answered. I asked for room 34, Kathleen Hill. He said "hold on" then said "ok, here is Kathleen" then a pause then I heard a voice that sounded like a foreign guy trying a pathetic attempt at making a girls voice say "hi, this is Kathleen." Anway, my cell phone was having a hard time keeping a connection and this person wasn't responding to my questions so I just hung up.
The End.
http://www.charlesdewandeler.com
The following is our conversation, verbatim. I have not altered anything.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Me:
hi
Kathleen Hill:
i am not happy
Me:
y?
Kathleen Hill:
because i need some money to return back to the state
Me:
what r u going to do?
Kathleen Hill:
dont know
i am done with my project here
and i need some money to balance up my ticket fee
Me:
y didnt you buy a round trip ticket when u first went out there?
Kathleen Hill:
didnt know
Me:
didnt know what?
Kathleen Hill:
didnt know i will be in this mess
Me:
i dont understand, u didnt know that you would need to fly back to the states? what were going to do? swim?
Kathleen Hill:
what i mean is i didnt know i will be in this mess #
or i would have gotten a return ticket
Me:
can u ask the people there for some money?
Kathleen Hill:
i have tried but only the hotel manager gave me some
Me:
how much?
Kathleen Hill:
i need $1,800
and he gave me $1,000
now i need $800
Me:
wow he gave you $1,000? what did u have to do to get $1,000?
Kathleen Hill:
nothing
i showed him my check and explained everything to him
Me:
is there another hotel across the street? maybe you can get the hotel owner there to give you the other $800?
Kathleen Hill:
what do you mean
Me:
I'm sure there is more than one hotel in Nigeria. u got $1,000 from one guy. Maybe the other guy can give you $800 and then you'll be all set.
Kathleen Hill:
bye
dont talk to me again
Me:
why not?
im just trying to help
Kathleen Hill is Available
Me:
how come u havent asked me to give u money?
Kathleen Hill is Available
Kathleen Hill:
are you there
Me:
yeah
Kathleen Hill:
i didnt ask you for money because i dont want you to think bad of mee
Me:
u told me not to talk to u aggain
Kathleen Hill:
are you turning me to be a berger
Me:
i dont know what a berger is, so how could i be turning you into one?
Kathleen Hill:
can you help me
Me:
well i can't give you 800, i could probably do like 200
Kathleen Hill:
can you please make it $400
Me:
i dont have that much
Kathleen Hill:
$300?
Me:
i dont have that much either
Maybe if I get a second job...
Kathleen Hill:
ok will you be able to send the $200 today
Me:
no the bank closes in 15 minutes
why dont you give me your bank account number and i will deposit it for you in the morning?
Kathleen Hill:
the best way to senf it is using western union
Me:
what is that?
Kathleen Hill:
western union money transfer
it is the best way to send money world wide
Me:
is western union a bank?
Kathleen Hill:
it is a money transfer ...
go to www.westernunion.com
are you there
Me:
yeah, so what is your western union account number?
Kathleen Hill:
you dont need an account
Me:
how do i get you the money?
Kathleen Hill:
what you need is my address to send money on
Me:
address? ok whats your address? how does that work?
Kathleen Hill:
all you need to do is go to any western union outlet around you and tell them you want to send money
Me:
oh hey, i just remembered, i have frequent flyer miles. that could help you get a cheaper ticket. what airline are you using?
Kathleen Hill:
klm
listen handsome
i have paid some money for the ticket already
what i need now is to balance up and i hop in the plane
so i do not need any help from frequent flyer
are you there
Me:
yeah, i stepped away, i'm making dinner
wazup
Kathleen Hill:
can you go send the money now
Me:
my bank closes at 5, so it just closed 9 minutes ago
i will have to go in the morning
so what is your address?
i can't address the letter to "nigeria, africa"
Kathleen Hill:
you send it to the hotel manager
Name: David Clark Address: 112 hotel road City: ijaye State: lagos Zipcode: 23401 Country: Nigeria
Me:
how do I know this David guy will give it to you? can't I address it to Kathleen Hill?
what room number are you?
Kathleen Hill:
he is the hotel manager and he will give it to me
he owns the hotel i am staying in here
Me:
i don't trust him
Kathleen Hill:
ok
Me:
how do we cut out the middle man?
Kathleen Hill:
then you send it to my name
same address
Kathleen Hill
Me:
what am i sending? a check? i'm a little confused?
do i make the check out to kathleen hill?
Kathleen Hill:
no
what time is it there
Me:
5:14
what time is it there?
Kathleen Hill:
western union closes at 10pm
you can still go send the money now
what is your zipcode so i can find a western union nearer location for you
Me:
i can look it up here but im about to eat dinner and then go to work, so i dont think i will make it tonight
but dont i need to get money from my bank, how does western union know where to take the money from?
Kathleen Hill:
all you need to do is take the money to their location and provide them with my address that you want to send money
you will be given a form to fill and once the money is sent
you will be given a receipt
it is on the receipt you will find a 10 digit number which is called the Money Transfer Control Number
Me:
can i track it from there?
how do i know when you get it?
Kathleen Hill:
once you send it
you will need to email me the 10 digit number
you will also be asked for a secret question and answer
Me:
so what should my secret question and answer be?
Kathleen Hill:
who is my love
answer is kathleen
Me:
oh i like that
do u need a secret question and answer too?
what can yours be?
Kathleen Hill:
yes
no i dont need secret question
Me:
thats no fun
how soon do you get it after i send it?
Kathleen Hill:
immediately you send it and email me the info
Me:
can i have your number? i'll call you when i go there so you can make sure i'm doing it right over the phone.
Kathleen Hill:
i dont have a phone here
Me:
oh darn
i cant do email on my phone either, so i wont know until i get home if you got it
Kathleen Hill:
what time do you get home
Me:
oh shoot, i gotta eat and head out, i will be out all night, till like 11 or 12
Kathleen Hill:
cant you just send it and rush home to email me the info
Me:
no cant i gotta eat and head to work at 6
so when are we gonna get together for coffee?
Kathleen Hill:
if you send money tomorow i will be in state on wednesday
Me:
wow, that is quick
where do u want to meet?
Kathleen Hill:
where would you like
Me:
Hooters
Kathleen Hill:
that will be nice
Me:
what r u going to wear?
Kathleen Hill:
surprise for you
remember i am a fashion designer
Me:
cool
how about something with feathers?
Kathleen Hill:
watch out
Me:
no tallons please
oh hey, what is the number at the hotel? i'll all the hotel and ask for your room.
*call
that way i can tell you if there is a problem
Kathleen Hill:
0112348022121925
Me:
wow thats a lot of numbers
what is your room number? i'll call right now
Kathleen Hill:
room 34
are you there
Me:
brb
Kathleen Hill:
ok
Me:
i gotta go, i'm gonna be late
ill call you tomorrow
Kathleen Hill:
ok
what time will you send money tomorow
Me:
not sure, morning?
ttyl
------------------------------------------------------
Today I called the number and some guy answered. I asked for room 34, Kathleen Hill. He said "hold on" then said "ok, here is Kathleen" then a pause then I heard a voice that sounded like a foreign guy trying a pathetic attempt at making a girls voice say "hi, this is Kathleen." Anway, my cell phone was having a hard time keeping a connection and this person wasn't responding to my questions so I just hung up.
The End.
http://www.charlesdewandeler.com
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